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April 8th, 2010


03:11 pm - Writer's Block: Critical mass
How well do you take criticism? Do you deflect it or take it personally? Does it usually inspire you to change? Are you more critical of yourself or others?


As Artists back in College, we all were taught to give an take Positive Criticism. While it may be hard sometimes to have to face my faults, when others criticize me, I see it as something I may want to change and not an attack, thought at the moment it may hurt.

The thing is to realize when the person giving criticism is doing it as someone who really cares for me, or just wants to be hurtful. I deal with people often that can't regulate their actions and have few social skills, and being able to filter their comments as worthless saves a lot of time emotionally.

When Paul, or my children tell me that they don't like what I am doing I want to know and try to change out of my love for them. Friends opinions rate near as much. Opinions of strangers are dripped in the circular file.
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: FaerieRadio.com

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October 14th, 2009


03:43 pm - Westminster Burial Grounds around and Under the Westminster Hall, Baltimore Md.
Last night I went on Tour of The Westminster Burial Grounds were Edgar Allen Poe is buried. It's lovely at night, but didn't make for great photos using my camera phone.

From Westminster Burial Ground


I would post more here if I knew how.

A lot of the photos were taken under the Church which now serves as a Hall for The Univ of Law School. If I had a good camera I would have tried to take more photos of the details It would have taken special equipment to photograph into one family's crypt were you could see through the small holes in the metal gate, how the wooden caskets fell apart and a skull and femur below a metal casket.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

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August 9th, 2009


12:47 pm - Num Num Lunch
Paul and I finish off the last of the watermelon and deciding I needed something for lunch I heated up a can of Green Pea soup and nuke a Yukon gold potato. Since I have to make sure I get extra fiber that my colon can handle, I added some benefiber to the soup as it heated up and then put the potato in my bowl, used my soup spoon to mash it up some and poured the soup over it. Added some freshly ground pepper and am now a happy eater.

Really finding food that I can eat easily and not irritate my colon has been a hassle. Add the low blood pressure I had yesterday and today, I'm afraid I may be back in the hospital again. Yesterday I took my Blood Pressure medicine and it was in the 70's to 80's over 55. Today I didn't take it and blood pressure is up to 102/66. I'm watching out for any signs of bleeding in my intestines, but so far only pass lots of gas over the last two days.

Oops, I got soup on my keyboard. Luckily it was the arrow keys that I rarely use.

Tummy feels happy. I hope my lower colon will as well when the remains of my lunch reach it.

Hopefully I get an appointment for the colonoscopy so we can find o.u/t what IBD I now seem to have. Well IBS was bad, but it never seem to try to kill me. Temp here just hit 91 degrees and I need to get something cool to drink. Darn I'm tire of having to pay constant attention to my body and worrying about everything could send me back to the ER.
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February 18th, 2009


03:36 pm
This is my reply to a blog that has become it's own post own.

http://www.conceptbakery.com/blog/2009/02/09/where-do-you-get-your-news-from/

the moment I log on to my computer, BBC headlines start to scroll at the top of my screen. Breaking news alerts will pop up if anything happen over the last few hours I need to check in case the world was destroyed while I slept. then depending on how I feel about needing constant chatter, I have tweetdeck and twitterfox to keep up with friends and the several newspapers and reporters and a freelance cameraman, I know through my friends.

Then when I'm awake enough to deal with my email, I get headlines from the NY Times and the Washington Post as well as briefs from Huffington and Politico. As I short through my emeail I'll open tabs for any headline that grabs my attention, stopping to read those that seem to be major news at the moment.

I'm less likely to turn on the TV News unless bored or find some news draws enough of my interest that I may turn on cable news (never Fox though) I like watching MSNBC in the evening during the election coverage to hear talking heads go at each other, but with a S.O. that wasn't in to politics, often the channel would get change to TCM or AMC, so it was back to my computer for me.

As to local news, I find the coverage so poorly done that if anything is worth my time, I'll likely hear about it from non local news coverage. The Baltimore Sun has been whittled down to point that recently I found it barely gives me something to read that wasn't printed in the Times or Post that day.

I'm a news junkie, who was raised on having to sit quietly during the news and getting the Sunday New York times after church. We lived just outside Washington D.C. when I got interested in reading more then just the comics and still remember reading the small story on the Watergate Burglary and talking to my mom about how suspicious it seem to the two of us. Each day after we would check for updates and soon my mom was talking about impeachment. The Hearings were the drug that had me addicted. My oldest daughter was addicted when we stayed with my mom and she watch C-Span every morning. I do OD sometimes and will go a few days avoiding all news to recover, but soon find myself needing a fix and back to checking the headlines first thing in the morning.

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December 14th, 2008


06:38 pm - snagged from fox_bard I'm a Spatial Thinker
You are a Spatial Thinker
Spatial thinker Spatial Thinkers:

* Tend to think in pictures, and can develop good mental models of the physical world.
* Think well in three dimensions
* Have a flair for working with objects

Like other spatial thinkers, Leonardo had a talent for designing buildings and machinery. He also invented a new style of map making Other Spatial Thinkers include
Pablo Picasso, Michelangelo, Isambard Kingdom Brunel

Careers which suit Spatial Thinkers include
Mechanic, Photographer, Artist, Architect, Engineer, Builder, Set designer


I have known that I was a spatial thinker for sometime and found questions used to be good test of how one thinks. I got a art table to work on yesterday and got it set up in spare room today with reboehme. I need to bring my art supplies and set up rest of the room for my studio. This is first time I actually had space for a studio and I jump on chance to get the table at Ollies. My stereo is set up for radio and cd player, so I can work to some of my favorite music or listen to NPR as I want. Now just need my Muses to give me the inspiration I need to get some drawings done.

Link to quiz

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December 2nd, 2008


11:56 am - What element are ye?


Your Element Is Air



You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.

And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.



Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.

You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.



You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.

With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!


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10:47 am - Dear Santa Claus
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In September I pushed vampyre_miyu in the mud (-17 points). Last Wednesday I stole darrenzieger's purse (-30 points). Last week I helped travelingtim across the street (6 points). Last month I bought porn for squire_liz (10 points). Last Saturday I broke dcseain's X-Box (-12 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-43 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

Sincerely,
elneclare

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

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November 30th, 2008


03:59 pm - Update on life post dad.
I don't know why I'm writing today other then I am in the mood to write. This last week has been a roller coaster in many ways. Sunday crimson_moons and I tried to get a little shopping done before picking up Lins. It was good to see her, but sad that she was up, so to go to my father's service Wednesday. Jamie had everyone over for small Birthday party for her. reboehme came with family and their father. I did try to be good and only found myself making one comment that was snarly, though I wish to say much more to this person, if it wouldn't cause drama involving the girls.

Monday crimson_moons, reboehme, Lin and I went to Arundel Mills Mall, so I could buy shoes and Lin get a new coat, since she had nothing warm enough for the weather up here. I spent a little more then I plan, but got the first pair of comfortable semi dress shoes my size, since I got ill back in 97'. Lin and reboehme both ended up with new coats on sale, while crimson_moons got a pair of black pants at a store she refuses to name. Then she and I got waylay by two Italian metrosexual hair stylist, selling hair curlers and straighteners. They were so cute as they raved over Jamie's and my hair, that we spent the way home talking about how we would have loved to have taken them home with us. It was very nice to just spend evening shopping with all three girls again.

Tuesday I recovered and spent day at computer following events in Mumbai on tweeter, when I should have been getting creamed onions and mushrooms cooked for dinner Wednesday. I thought I talked o Paul about our plans for Thanksgiving at his brother's, but being emotionally a wreck at thought of going to memorial service for dad next day, lots of things where lost in the confusion.

Paul and I got a later start then I would have liked Wednesday, but once at my dad's house with all my siblings all seem to fall in place. I went in my dad's car with my Sister Mary and her family to the service. We all had to stand outside in the cold, while waiting to be let in the chapel at the Nation Cemetery in Garrison MD. Ann read two poems and had all of us laughing over the time we were all at dinner and Sean said something, which had my dad throwing his baked potato at him. The potato spent months under the china cabinet, before it finally was thrown away in one of our spring cleaning efforts. Growing up there were always things suddenly showing up while we were cleaning, such as forgotten Christmas gifts that my parents hid from us. Paul read Lin's post from facebook and then Mary spoke of more memories going back to her first of dad at three years old.

We drove though the cemetery past where mom ashes are bury, not wanting to wait 30 minutes to be able to visit our parents grave site. Instead we went back to the house and started cooking dinner. Just now I realize it would be our last family gathering which nearly all were there. Mary's oldest Evan and Susan's daughter Audry and their families were not able to make it. Sean's daughter did come, though they hadn't seen each other for years. Now he hope to someday see his son also. The food and company was great, though after dinner, the sis of us had to sit down and talk about the estate and will. The next few months will be filled with getting the paperwork done and the house fixed up so to be sold. Then we will hopefully get through dividing all of our parents processions without much drama. I still haven't looked at the will since bringing it home.

I didn't do much of anything Thursday until it was time to leave for dinner. crimson_moons and James came over with us and dinner was nice. We left soon after dessert to go to N. Va. for concert. I been longing to see Cruxshadows for sometime and got my wish finally. I sat at the bar for most of the evening and then stood next to egolikeness unable to be still while Cruxshadow played. The show was so great i barely felt any pain though I was nearly hopping from the music. I'm surprise my neck doesn't hurt from the way I had been moving it like a snake. crimson_moons got me a copy of their Birthday single for me and I had it sign for by all but the dancers, who had earned a well deserved break after the show. Rogue was very nice to take the time to chat with fans and remember James and crimson_moons. In fact the whole band was friendly and open to chatting with us. I wish I could have had a chance to say good by to Donna before we left, so Donna sorry we miss you after wards. I hope to make it to Orpheus some time this next month, so maybe we'll run into each other there.

Since then I been sleeping in every morning and being very lazy eating leftovers when I can. We're down to just the Lemon Sauce left and no more angel cake to eat with it. There was no pie Wednesday, just the butterscotch twirls and angel cake with grandmother's Desire's lemon sauce, Both favorites of my father's.

Between the Cd's Paul's mom gave us, my Birthday single and PBS repeats of 3 Irish singers, we have had Lord of the Rings: Two Towers on cable TV. Normally I tend to silence and am fine with it. Having a dad who was an acoustical engineer has taught me to protect my ears, though I still love a load concert once and awhile. I'll risk a few more dead ear cells for good music.

Tomorrow I hope to go back to group therapy and see friends who I miss, as the last time we were together was day dad died. I would have gone 2 weeks ago, but the van was in a crash and so no ride until they replace it. I'm hoping the center has act together enough to have a new van by now. Budget cuts in mental health by state and federal government has hurt the program so much, that we clients fear it will be closed at rate things have been going.

ps it seems nuts to find out there are at least 2 other lj users with name crimson moon or moons
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: sound track of Lord of the Rings: Two Towers

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November 12th, 2008


10:03 am - Memories of my Father part 1
I don't have time to proofread this, so post it as is.

today as I think of my dad, I want to let people know how amazing he was. After serving in the Air Force for 2 years as a Bombardier in New Mexico, between WWII and the Korean War, he used his GI bill to major in Architecture at Univ of Ill, Navy Pier, were he met my Mom and Aunt and their best friend and roommate, Betty. Mom worked for one of his professors and set him up as a blind date for her sister.

soon he was being invited over regularly for dinner, as they took pity on how he was spending his evenings in the library and living off Baby Ruth bars and cokes. While I'm sure their wonderful cooking may have been a factor in my father's interest in coming over for dinner, I'm glad to say it wasn't the only reason he married my mom.

After the wedding on Labor day, Dad went on to Notre Dame to get his degree. His first job out of college was as a draftsman for Studebaker. Their first car was also a Studebaker with a trunk so long you could but skis in it. He then went on to work for a major architectural firm in Chicago, were he had his portrait done for a headache ad my uncle made for a drug company.

Not wanting to stay in a firm were he be lucky to ever be more then a draftsman for the guys upstairs who names still are on the firms masthead, he moved us all to Pittsburgh and went working for US Steel in research. We moved 3 times while he was their trying to find a place were mom wouldn't get sinus headaches. Finally her Doctor told Dad he had to find a job somewhere there wasn't any steel mills, so dad retired and changed careers.

Dad spent the next 2 years at Catholic Univ, learning what little was then taught on Acoustics and the math and computer languages he would need for his job at The National Assoc. of Home Builders in Rockville. There he and his co workers study ways to make home materials quieter. I used to love going to the lab and looking at all the equipment they used there. Still there was no way to advance at the job, so once again Dad left and went to work for himself as a contractor, taking all the Acoustical testing equipment as his retirement pay.

We struggle for nearly 2 years as he found that while he didn't have a problem finding clients, getting them to pay his fees was like pulling teeth. So dad when on to take the job as Manager of Maryland Airport Noise Abatement program.

Maryland was the first state to create a law to try to keep housing developments from being built next to airports, as unlike most Airports that are own by cities,the state own the 4 airports in the state. No government agency at the time had done anything like this and so he became the leading expert on Airport Noise Abatement over the next several years. He worked for the state until he was able to retire again and then work first as an employee for a consultant firm, writing software for Airports across the country and the US Navy Air Stations before retiring once again so they could move back to Baltimore and finish remodeling the home they had been working on since 1977.

Still he worked as a consultant for the same firm from his home until 1999, when he retired for the last time, so to take care of my mom who was dying of breast cancer. I only once saw him cry at the service for her after 9/1/2000. He lived on his own in the house they worked so hard to finish during their last years together. It's there we are all gathering to Celebrate my father's life, as his first great grandson like to say. But then Ian was lucky to get to know my father before he became ill. I had hope my mom would live to long enough to also see her first great grand child. She did get to meet my future son-in-law, and know about the pregnancy.

I off to go sign the paper work with my sister and 2 brothers that live here in Baltimore. I hope you can understand a little of how proud I am for my father, as I cry over the love and joy he gave me.

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November 11th, 2008


07:33 pm - My father
Passed away this morning. He been in a nursing home, since last winter, when he became ill and no longer able to care for himself. He would have been 82 n the 24th of November. I wish I could have had one last chance to say good bye, but without ride way across town, it was impossible for me to go by bus. tomorrow we go sign papers and start making plans for a simple service at the VA chapel in Garrison MD. Maybe before then I will be able to write more of how wonderful a father he was to me and my children.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: numbnumb

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